Don’t mind us. We’re just cracking up while we set fire to our corsets over here reading old charm school rules of etiquette. Boy, would we have gotten sent to the headmaster’s office.

Old school charm school rules makes us laugh. So rigid. Incredibly sexist. So unbelievably antiquated. However, some of these rules can be tweaked into protocols we can get behind. Let’s take a walk down memory lane (that hasn’t aged so well) and edit these rules into the 21st century, shall we?

Charm School Rules of Etiquette That Make Us Want to Burn Our Girdles

Funny old charm school rules

Rule #1: Ladies must decide the end of the night.

Now, this used to be used to judge a lady’s “virtue.” Excuse us while we hurl. But as a general sentiment, we’re all for early goodbyes and being the night rooster. You know, letting everyone know when it’s time to turn in. We like to be fed by 8 and in bed by 10 with the Real Housewives and 90 Day fiancés. Is that prim and proper? We think so.

Rule #2: Good posture

I mean, sure. Can’t argue with good old spinal health. But not to show off our pointy, pert breasts and waltz around like a prize-winning Pomeranian at Westminster. Our modern day “good” posture is made possible by piles of pillows we prop ourselves up with while working from our home office. A.k.a. our beds. And we’re all for women walking confidently into a room and commanding attention, awe, and respect.

Rule #3: Respect for older ladies

Our 100% woman-owned business is fully behind this old charm school rule of etiquette! We have so much admiration for our OG HBICs like RBG, Michele Obama, Queen B, of course, and other trailblazers. Women entrepreneurs and leaders make our hearts sing. You’re why people like us are able to work for ourselves and continue to build other women up. It’s an act of service we will try our hardest to fully repay by paying it forward.

Rule #4: Table Manners

Nobody likes an open-mouth chewer. Kendal Jenner, we’re looking at you, girl. But, in 2022, we’d like to apply this old charm school rule to the board room table. Gentlemen, listen up. We wholeheartedly wish our male counterparts would take turns listening to lady voices at the table. Otherwise, we may have to spill our wine on someone. Or just jump up on the table and start screaming in “hysteria.”

Rule #5: Personal grooming

Come as you are, ladies. We don’t think you should have to wear anything other than what you’re comfortable in to be respected or given credit where credit is due. It just so happens that we’re pretty into the work mullet. We’re talking presentable on the top, party pjs on the bottom. Zoom sartorial goals, for sure.

Rule #6: Don’t accept plans after Wednesday.

You don’t want to seem like a second choice do you? A last resort? Down with spinster culture! Living alone, ordering all the takeout you want but don’t have to share, and sleeping in a bed without scraggly toenails scraping your legs sounds like pure modern bliss. No shame in having an open social calendar or FONMO (fear of not missing out).

We’d like to rejigger this charm school rule to empower women owned businesses to keep their options open. Know your worth, ladies. Pass over people who see it too late. If you have to convince anyone, move right along. Playing games is dumb and a waste of time. 

Rule #7: Cross your legs at the ankles

Thanks to our permanent athleisure culture, we don’t have to abide by this while we sit working on our beds eating snacks. If dudes can manspread, woman can too. We’re here for it.

Rule #8: Pick up the check

Of course, men were always encouraged to pay for their female dates. Now with ladies in the workforce and slaying girl boss culture, this is so outdated. So, we’d like to rewrite this for all the clients out there who think it’s okay to dine and dash on a bill. Pay your invoices, people. We’ve gotten stiffed a few times and it ain’t pretty.

History, or herstory, is there for us to learn from! We hope you feel inspired to shatter that glass ceiling after reading how far women have come from charm school and finishing school days. If you’d like to go even further with the help of our woman-owned marketing agency, please get in touch! We love partnering with fellow female entrepreneurs and companies who market to women.